Saturday, November 21, 2009
The Smell of the Earth
It is a funny thing. This past week, after receiving such awful news I have thought of nothing else. I am still carrying on with my day to day routine, but I feel like I am in another world, as if I am just going through the motions. I can't tune out the reality of what is happening however hard I try, and to be honest I am not sure I should be trying. I think this is what I need to do right now so that I can start to process it, and try to find a place in my mind and my heart that understands why these things happen, if there even is such a place.
I spent some time outside this morning, picking produce, and weeding, and pottering around the garden. I enjoyed feeling the warm sun, and smelling the earth, and I felt grateful that I can. It made me feel more grounded in a way, a little less uncertain and scared of what lies ahead, although I am still uncertain and scared of what lies ahead.
I want so much to do something, to help in some way, and yet I know that ultimately I can't. All I can do is be here, and do what I do, and keep on going so that I can try to be ready for what lies ahead.
Posted by Mo at 3:23 PM