Friday, June 11, 2010

Sleep

I am supposed to be sleeping. It is past midnight and I am exhausted but I can't sleep. We returned from a ten day trip to Canada today, visiting my family, and especially my cousin, the one who is sick.

I haven't written here about what she is sick with, mainly because I still can't really come to terms with the awfulness of it all and believe that it is happening, and a little because I struggle to write about my emotions here.

My cousin has ALS. I am sure it is clear to everyone that this has been completely devastating for her, and for her family, and yet she is so strong, and I am completely in awe of her. I really don't know what else to say except that I am so glad that we got a chance to spend time with her. I hope that I will see her again very soon.

I am due to take the girls up to the White Mountains for two weeks on Sunday. It is a trip that has been planned for a year, long before I knew about my cousin. Right now the prospect of doing everything I need to do to get us ready makes me feel exhausted, and yet not apparently exhausted enough for me to sleep.

So, I think I will try to read for a while, and try to stop my mind from churning round and round endlessly. I don't know what else to do.

2 comments:

Amy said...

I will pray for you, your cousin, your family, and your trip to the White Mountains.

May God grant you peace (and sleep!) as you prepare for your journey.

Blessings!

bodaat said...

oh love, i'm so sorry. :( i hope you got some rest and that your two weeks away will be peaceful.

love you lots!
~k