Monday, September 12, 2011


I was away last week visiting with my cousin in Vancouver. I got home last night full of emotion for so many reasons, not least of which had to do with the 9-11 anniversary yesterday.

I have so many feelings about my visit. My cousin continues to be very brave in the face of all that she is dealing with but each time I see her I sense a change in her eyes, and I see the toll this dreadful disease is taking on her. I love going there and being with her, and yet it tears at my heart to see her this way and to watch what she has to endure each day. I know that she doesn't want anyone to pity her, or to be sad around her and so I managed to keep it all inside until I saw my beautiful girls at the airport. Then I lost it for just a little while.

Now I am home and I feel so torn. I am happy to be home and yet I am so sad to be away from her too, uncertain of what I will find the next time I go. No one should have to go through what she and her family are going through right now and I can't make any kind of sense of it all.


Rohrerbot said...

Hang in there. These experiences make us reflect on our own lives and also on the ones we love. Every moment counts and each day is a gift. Maybe plan another visit to let yourself know that you'll be going back to see her again? But I get what you're saying...I love being back home but I miss my family even more when I leave them. From reading your work, I get the sense that you are a deeply feeling person. Your cousin is lucky to have someone like you there for her. Maybe our nasty and muggy heat will keep you distracted:) Welcome back and keep your chin up!

Esther Montgomery said...

What can one say?


Mo said...

Thank you Rohrerbot, I appreciate your thoughts and words so much!

Dear Esther...... indeed! x

Bodaat said...

I am sure she is so grateful to have you not only as a cousin MoMo, but a dear friend full of love, comfort, support and encouragement.



Mo said...

Thanks Bo. x