Monday, September 12, 2011

Home

I was away last week visiting with my cousin in Vancouver. I got home last night full of emotion for so many reasons, not least of which had to do with the 9-11 anniversary yesterday.

I have so many feelings about my visit. My cousin continues to be very brave in the face of all that she is dealing with but each time I see her I sense a change in her eyes, and I see the toll this dreadful disease is taking on her. I love going there and being with her, and yet it tears at my heart to see her this way and to watch what she has to endure each day. I know that she doesn't want anyone to pity her, or to be sad around her and so I managed to keep it all inside until I saw my beautiful girls at the airport. Then I lost it for just a little while.

Now I am home and I feel so torn. I am happy to be home and yet I am so sad to be away from her too, uncertain of what I will find the next time I go. No one should have to go through what she and her family are going through right now and I can't make any kind of sense of it all.

5 comments:

Rohrerbot said...

Hang in there. These experiences make us reflect on our own lives and also on the ones we love. Every moment counts and each day is a gift. Maybe plan another visit to let yourself know that you'll be going back to see her again? But I get what you're saying...I love being back home but I miss my family even more when I leave them. From reading your work, I get the sense that you are a deeply feeling person. Your cousin is lucky to have someone like you there for her. Maybe our nasty and muggy heat will keep you distracted:) Welcome back and keep your chin up!

Esther Montgomery said...

What can one say?

Esther

Mo said...

Thank you Rohrerbot, I appreciate your thoughts and words so much!


Dear Esther...... indeed! x

Bodaat said...

I am sure she is so grateful to have you not only as a cousin MoMo, but a dear friend full of love, comfort, support and encouragement.

(hugs)

xxx

Mo said...

Thanks Bo. x